Would I lie to you baby?


The Lie Factory

Were it possible that our pants could actually catch on fire as a consequence of telling a lie, there would be a great number of lawyers with scorchies, and an equally great number of advertisers.

While you can tell that lawyers are lying simply by virtue of their lips moving, advertising agencies are stealth liars.

Advertisers are the ultimate Lie Merchants. We sell you snake oil and dreams while conversely convincing our clients that the juice is worth the squeeze.

Think about it. We call ourselves story tellers, and why let the truth get in the way of a good story?

Strategists, copywriters, art directors, graphic designers, and account managers, a merry band of thieves peddling our fresh, shiny wares.

To make this more fun, we’ll unpack this (we like to say unpack) by breaking down fancy advertising titles and the tales they weave by adding an associate farming analogy.

Strategists – Harvesting 🥕

A strategist is the grim reaper of advertising. They will find a chink in the toughest armour, niche that fucker and then flood you with advertising. I would not be surprised if they’re the masterminds behind the liberation of organs, having identified the serious demand for used parts.

The strategist is the forager or harvester of insights. Insights can be grown artificially (data from the internet) and found in the wild (market research).

The Creative Team – Production 🥫

Once an insight from a particular market segment has been reaped (or manufactured), a copywriter will produce a story . The story will be neither truth nor fiction, however it will present itself as a fact, essentially gaslighting you into wondering if you even know the difference.

The creative team’s role is to give the words a visual representation of the meeting of lies. An art director (visual propagandist), in collaboration with a graphic designer (hard worker) will naturally create prize pig splendour which will be hard to ignore,

Marketing – Sowing & Growing 🌱

Once the turd has been polished, its handed over to the Account Manager AKA Con Artist to dump it at the Client’s doorstep. If the client is successfully duped (more fancy words for lies) they give the go-ahead to take our concept, and their product to market.

There it will either be added to basket, or perish on the market table. In which case we’re all piles of manure. And shitty liars.

And now for the truth 😇

We’ve only wrote this blog post as a piece of Trojan horse, chicanery  for the sole purpose of creating clickbait to this site to buy into our narrative, or to buy us coffee on Patreon.

And they all lived happily ever after,

The End

Published by whyteryan

It's the same as it never was.

2 thoughts on “Would I lie to you baby?

  1. Do you realise the kind of danger you’ve just put your lives in? Exposing the farm like that, you’ll get kicked out!
    Of course, I’m only expressing my concern as an onlooker with no affiliation with the farm or any of its members. I’m just worried for your safety, that’s all

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: