Conspiracy Theories and The Gif’ter

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Steve Jobs is not dead.

Conspiracy Theory exclusive; let this serve as evidence in the public domain that when it’s revealed that Steve Jobs is alive, we will reap the accolades for calling it. As will Siya Tyali.

How is Steve Jobs still alive?

The theory suggests that Jobs’ consciousness has been digitised to a mainframe and become an omnipresent being. Sounds familiarly like Johnny Depp’s character who was uploaded to the Quantum Computer in the movie Transcendence, but moving on.

Naturally, it’s been a secret to date, but we can reveal that Steve Jobs is actually Siri – the built-in, voice-controlled personal assistant for Apple devices – as opposed to Siri, a Nordic Goddess.

Now we can’t argue with what is arguably fact. Siri was released on the 4th October 2011, and after a 24 hour standard bug check, Steve Jobs death was announced on the 5th of October 2011. Not even co-incidence could get that right, and Siya agrees.

And when we say agree, what we mean is completely fabricated by Siya.

A lover of graphic novels, unattributed quotes and entrepreneurship, he is – unrelated- a master of selecting the perfect gif for any occasion, hence his monicker ‘The Gif’ter’.

#TrueFacts time, Siya is a gifted writer, brilliant storyteller and wildly conceptual thinker. He’d have to be.

Follow him @mattesilver on Instagram and then slide into his DMs if you want to collaborate or contemplate the next Illuminati machination.

Critically, and because we need the clicks, check his bleed episode on our YouTube channel.

Steve Jobs is Siri, just like how it happened in Transcendence.
In this episode, Jacque Moodley, Ryan Whyte, and Siya Tyali go through the usual drill. Some of the topics we discussed include the good ol’ days of advertising, ad vampires, and uploading human consciousness onto the mainframe.

Published by whyteryan

It's the same as it never was.

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