Awards used as bookends, Oscars in the loo, Loeries as paperweights*, a conscious nod to self-deprecation, and the ultimate humble brag. Imagine if we gave you an award that was intended to be useful?
The Jar. Historically used to purchase jam in, save old marbles, and store previously enjoyed cooking oil, has been elevated to an iconic status of cool
Apparently we call them Mason Jars now, and they are the vessels of choice for smoothies, cocktails and salads (don’t even ask – I burst into tears and decanted it into a bowl).
A fully functional Consol ‘Mason Jar’ is the acme of coolth and holds not only your chia seeds and organic, long-grain, brown rice, but massive Instagramability appeal.
We thought, why not elevate the elevated, and take the fun out of using your Golden Pencil as a swizzle stick.
The jar is the vessel that seals in freshness. In our case, freshness of ideas. It takes a strong brain to open that jar, not unlike the Tricky Dicky you need to open the sticky mess of your farm to table pickled artichoke leaves that you forgot you’d made. Now glaze that jar in gold, emblazon it with an asterisk, and you have yourself one hell of a concept for the hottest award show on the market right now.
The Golden Jar Awards
There is no platinum jar, no silver, no bronze. Nor is there a Grand Prix jar.
First prize is gold. Second prize is a NutriBullet**, and in the words of Alec Baldwin’s character in Glengarry Glen Ross, third prize is ‘you’re fired’.
The Winning Circle
A Golden Jar is automatically presented to anyone who has featured and/or contributed to the winner of the particular category, and in this case Golden Jars go to the following people in order of appearance and contribution:****
Also, we are the winners in the categories.
The cynical (or undeserving) may feel that it is controversial, nay, contentious that the founding members of the Golden Jar Awards are potentially the opposite of biased when handing them out, but at The JAR Awards we can’t be like the other awards shows.
Awards committees who say no to nepotism, are fair in their assessment of creative work.
We cannot be bribed.***
All hail the asterisk. Ts & Cs apply.
*Actually bloody good paperweights
**Second prize is the same as third prize which is not, in fact, a NutriBullet
- Alex Hope-Bailie
- Dana Jacob
- Kholisile Zwane
- Rekso Le Hond
- Victor Jacob
- Siya Tyali
- Mandla Black Jar Moscow
- Michelle Lupton
- Bernice Puleng